June 30th 2015,
This evening I was fortunate enough to be invited to a party filled with individuals who have graduated, who just graduated, and kids still in high school. The variety of people I got to be around was a really amazing experience for me, and made me really miss the party’s that were not (and that have been) the same group of people I see constantly. Tonight was very special in meeting new people, and creating friendships (and followers on instagram… I’m kidding!!). But all jokes aside it was a really beautiful night for me and it brought in this new month for me in all the best ways imaginable.
The past school year has been this intense and overwhelming roller coaster for feelings toward people I love and want to be with, and friendships that sadly had to come to this abrupt end moving the year by angrily, slowly, and grudgingly. It wasn’t fun, and every small mishap or accident or bad grade made the world seem like it was going to collapse on me right then and there without so much as a warning. And, surprisingly I made it through the year, harmed and battered up a bit yes, but for the most part happier then I thought I would have been.
So this evening I got the chance to create this really cool friendship with the most wonderful woman named Dana, and it was really amazing and overwhelming because of how nice she was (still is) and made me realize that I don’t need to keep convincing myself that people love me. Of course I need the reassurance once in a while but other than that I need to come to terms that I can stop convincing and tricking myself into thinking that people love me, because they do, and its time for me to lie back on the self-absorbance and begin to love all of these people back. It really amazes me that I keep having all of these moments where I clue into life and all these realizations that come to me in these massive waves have helped me out in more ways than one, and I am constantly thanking myself for allowing my brain to do these wonderful things. It’s almost comical.
Before going to the party I went to Café Remedy to indulge myself in a mug of Chai and a chance to spend time with myself. Everyone who was there was sitting at their own tables either by themselves or with a friend or two absorbed in conversations and books. Everyone’s chatter drowned out the music but it was still there for someone to tap their foot to. It was a warm evening environment that helped energize my sleepy-self before the night ahead.
While walking down the streets the air was humid and a tad smoky and the sky was a light overcast and tinted a pastel orange, all of the trees hung over the streets like canopies you would see in photographs in National Geographic magazines, people were out walking hand-in-hand or riding their bike to their desired destination. I noticed there are a lot more people who are riding their bikes and it makes me so happy because yay! Saving the environment!! Essentially it was a beautiful evening and I was glad I was not trapped inside of my room binge watching some show I only half care about.
After saying hello to all the cool people and after Dana and I chatted and laughed one another’s ear’s off I found myself around the fire with faces I have never been so relieved to see. Erica and Alexa were there (they’re my “moms”) talking with each other and Nathan about experiences so far this summer, and Hope, Erin and Alice were there laughing and drinking fancy wine. Isabella was talking about school and art and work with this gentleman named James who makes the most incredible sculptures (please go check out his blog), Ben was there and I didn’t talk to him a whole lot but when I did he was filled with all of these facts about science and space, and his eyes lit up with this child-like excitement and it was really beautiful and entertaining to watch. Braedon and Devon were smoking cigarettes and I got to “officially” become Devon’s friend which was super exciting (these two also make cool art and take photographs and stuff so definitely check them out!). But all of these people were around the fire letting the warmth of the coals make their faces glow a warm orange and I couldn’t stop looking at everyone and feel nothing but grateful and happy that they all interact with me. It’s just really cool when I get to be surrounded by people I look up to in many ways and they chat with me and sit beside me!!!! I am very thankful for everyone and I wish I could tell them all that I love them everyday.
The evening felt smooth and my cheeks were rosy all night. Laughter was the most common noise I made, and watching drunk girls help each other out and compliment each other made for adorable/memorable moments. I love watching different people interact with each other and all the possible conversations that can be created instantaneously, there was nothing but a positive and loving aura surrounding the yard, and any time anyone needed anything someone was ready to jump in and help to the best of their abilities.
I got to take a cab back to Kit’s house with her and Dana, of course we didn’t go to bed right away, but rather chatted about plenty. Being around them made me feel really lucky.
I’m not entirely sure what else to put for this entry, and quite honestly I struggled through this entire thing as I am still trying to find the art of blog format for writing so bear with me as I continue to figure it all out! I am hoping to bring more photography and maybe another topic of writing, I am still trying to see what I like and what fits alongside my backpack entries. I am also going to start figuring out set dates for entry posts because so far its been all over the place, so again thank-you all for your patience and I am sorry this entry sucked!